What are the reasons for the recurring struggles in our relationships? How is it that traumatic events--such as physical injury, emotional threat, the separation from a loved one, or some other life crisis--can trigger or increase our feelings of fear, anger, isolation, or helplessness so readily and so intensely?
When we are young, we develop attachment styles that carry over throughout our life, from intimate relationships with people to relationships with our children to career opportunities. And traumatic events can have a profound effect on the core relational blueprint of any relationship.
As small children, we instinctively respond to the love and support offered by our parents or guardians. While a strong bond with our primary caregiver is fundamental to our development in these early years, any difficulties arising from this attachment can lead to problems with relationships and self-image in later life. If a dysfunctional attachment model is not worked on or is constructed incorrectly, it may lead to poor emotional decisions or to unhealthy and unstable relationships that may involve coercion, abuse, or subservience.
It is increasingly common for human relationships to involve constant feelings of abandonment, accompanied by control behaviors, emotional blackmail, a need for constant reassurance, and emotional hypervigilance. Attachment styles are inevitably the defining characteristics of intimate relationships, whether you like them or not. The ability to recognize these attitudes and manage them effectively is one of the most important things you can do to ensure a positive outlook on your relationships throughout your life.
By combining attachment theory and trauma resolution, the author has been able to integrate these two fields to show how they work together in order to help you appreciate and benefit from their complementary principles and methods, respectively.
